Aftermath
by kg1507
Summary: SB/MM: Takes place after "Usual Suspects" Life on Mars being what she was had been nothing but miserable. Earth had held the promise of a fresh start, and she'd taken her chance the very moment the opportunity presented itself. But now that was over.


_I feel it deep within_

_It's just beneath the skin_

_I must confess that I feel like a monster_

_-Skillet_

It had been a very long day.

It was nearly two in the morning and all was quiet at Mount Justice; the headquarters of the team of ex-sidekicks, Young Justice. After going up against the likes of Lex Luthor, Queen Bee, Bane, and Sportsmaster all in one sitting, it was understandable that the entire team was exhausted, both physically and emotionally. Secrets long buried inside the team had finally come out into the light and tensions relieved, bringing everyone one step closer together not only as teammates, but as friends.

Superboy revealed the seemingly unexplainable and sudden jumpstart in his powers and abilities over the last few weeks – he had been using drug-like patches that gave him full access to Kryptonian powers, including heat vision and flight. He also revealed that he was only half Kryptonian and that his genetic makeup included human DNA from none other than Lex Luthor himself.

Artemis told of her dark past and her less-than-innocent family ties. Her mother was an ex-con, her sister went under the alias of Cheshire, and her father was Sportsmaster – a villain the team had now gone up against several times.

And finally there was M'gann, who had kept her secret buried inside her for so long; she too ended up revealing the truth. Her true form was not what she'd actually shown her teammates back at the Logan Reserve. In reality, she was a White Martian – a race among the more heavily populated greens back on Mars that were constantly rejected. She was an outcast among her own people, and had been trained to see herself as nothing more than a monster.

M'gann stared at her reflection in the privacy of her bedroom, studying the face that looked back at her. Her skin the color of new spring leaves, auburn hair and hazel-colored eyes that sparkled when she smiled, and a thin, attractive human body with no flaws or abnormalities. This was the form she had chosen when she came to Earth. This was the form she knew she could create a new life in, a form that would be accepted and loved – one that wouldn't send people screaming or turn away their faces in disgust at the grotesque creature before them. Life on Mars being what she was had been nothing but miserable. Earth had held the promise of a fresh start, and she'd taken her chance the very moment the opportunity presented itself.

But now the plan she had so carefully laid out was over.

It wasn't that she was regretting her decision – not really. It had taken a huge leap of faith and bravery she hadn't known she'd possessed to reveal her true form to her friends – one that she almost didn't take when the rest of the secrets were coming out. But as she'd listened to Artemis and Conner share their own dark secrets, she knew she couldn't hide any longer. It wasn't fair to the rest of the team – not when they proved just how much they trusted each other. She'd never been so afraid, the fear of being rejected once again had crippled her more and more the closer she'd grown to her friends. As time went on, however, she knew there was now more to lose than just her friends.

The team had miraculously accepted her when all was said and done – an outcome that had seemed so unlikely in M'gann's mind that it had barely been a possibility, but true all the same. No one ran in fear. No one attacked her. Her worst nightmares had not come to pass.

So why did she still feel so uneasy?

M'gann closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She reached deep inside herself and concentrated on the barrier that separated Megan from Martian. Her shape-shifting skills were nearly on par with Martian Manhunter, even if she did have trouble mimicking the male form, so keeping a trasnsformation intact for very long periods of time was not a problem for her. She mentally picked the barrier apart little by little, watching with pained eyes as the real her replaced the girl in the mirror. Several feet of height added from the transformation caused the length of her body to grow past the top of the mirror. M'gann kneeled on bony white knees to see her face and fought to keep her eyes from averting once the transformation was complete.

_They still want you._ M'gann told herself. _They didn't run away. They still care about you. Everything is fine, M'gann… you're fine. You're…_

Several long, paralyzing seconds passed, and then M'gann could hold her own gaze no longer. The barrier reformed almost instantly, the pale white skin replaced with green, her long, lanky limbs returning to human form, and her face shrinking back to the face of a girl she so desperately wished she had been born as. M'gann laid her forehead against the cool glass, her palm outstretched and pressing into the mirror as if she could somehow dissolve into its surface. Her eyes filled with tears and she blinked them back angrily. Her friends had accepted her. Her friends still loved her.

But she still hated herself.

A soft knock at the door made her start. Hastily rubbing her eyes, she glanced at the clock at her bedside table and wondered who was still awake at this hour after such a trying day. She considered not answering the door, unsure if she could face the person she guessed was standing behind it. She both wanted to see him and did not want to see him at the same time, but the feelings she had for him were stronger than her will to turn him away, and that made her decision for her.

M'gann slowly opened the door, confirming her guess. "Conner…" She said softly. "What are you doing up so late?"

"Couldn't sleep." Conner replied, his hands casually in the pockets of his jeans. His eyes looked right into hers, making it very hard for M'gann to meet his gaze. Conner still wasn't very good with subtly - unless he was doing it deliberately this time.

"Oh… me neither." M'gann whispered.

A few seconds of awkward silence passed between them and M'gann could feel her body temperature rising as her discomfort grew. Just as she was about to tell him she would talk to him in the morning, Conner spoke.

"Want to go for a walk?"

M'gann paused, and then stuck her head out the doorway to look up and down the halls. After a moment of hesitation, she nodded and quietly shut the door behind her.

The waves were quiet tonight, lapping at the shore of the harbor instead of their usual roar. It was almost as if the very ocean was in need of some peace and quiet too after everything that had happened today. M'gann and Conner walked slowly down the beach just out of the water's reach. Neither of them had spoken, and the silence was beginning to generate paranoia in M'gann's head.

_He's changed his mind. He doesn't want me anymore…_ M'gann's thoughts raced through her head and the feeling of panic quickly rose to the surface until she feared she might explode. She tried to distract herself, but she could only focus on Conner. His body was almost invisible against the darkness of the night, and she found herself thinking about how they really needed to get him some different-colored shirts to wear. His hands were still in the pockets of his jeans, his gaze cast towards the sand. He looked like he was deep in thought. Probably about her. Probably about them.

M'gann couldn't stand the silence anymore.

"Conner?" She said tentatively, coming to a stop. He turned half a step later, his eyes meeting hers. M'gann looked away, wrapping her arms around herself in a feeble effort to feign protection. "Conner, what are we doing out here?"

"Walking." He replied simply.

M'gann fought the urge to roll her eyes. "I know _that_," She said. "But why right now? What's so important that you had to wake me up in the middle of the night instead of waiting until morning?"

"You weren't asleep." Conner reminded her.

M'gann mentally slapped herself. She'd forgotten telling him that. She looked out towards the ocean, unsure of what to say now.

"Why won't you look at me?" Conner asked.

M'gann didn't answer.

"As soon as we got home, you went to your room, and now you won't look at me." Conner took a step towards her and M'gann found herself taking a step back.

"It's been a long day. I wanted to rest." She said.

"You're lying." Conner replied. His voice was calm and quiet, the aggression he'd experienced from wearing the Kryptonian patches long gone. There was a moment of silence. "I don't understand. I thought… I don't care what you look like, M'gann." He said gently.

"Stop." M'gann closed her eyes, trying to keep from crying.

"Stop what?" Conner asked. He wasn't very good at finding the right words to say, but at this moment he desperately wanted to find them. "M'gann, I've known for months. I knew in Belle Reeve. I knew throughout every second we've been together, and I didn't reject you. I thought this was what you wanted – to be accepted. Isn't it?"

"Yes." M'gann whispered.

"Then why won't you look at me?" Conner asked softly.

"Because…" M'gann fought back oncoming tears, hugging herself tightly. "Because I'm afraid that you'll change your mind."

Conner froze, and the whole world seemed to stop with him. "What?"

M'gann turned to face him, her eyes shining in the light of the moon over their heads. "When I was young, I dreamed of coming to Earth. I knew it would be a world filled with wonderful things, a place where all of my dreams could become reality. I thought coming here would be the greatest thing to ever happen to me." A thin streak of tears began to roll down her cheeks and her throat grew hard and tight, making it difficult to speak. "I was wrong." She finally met his eyes. "The greatest thing to ever happen to me was _you_, Conner." She wiped her cheek with shaking fingers. "And I don't think I'm ever going to stop being afraid of losing you."

Conner was quiet, taking in this information. He was suddenly very aware of his heart, which was beating faster than it had a few moments ago. He stepped towards her, unwrapping her arms and taking both hands in his. "M'gann," He said softly. "You won't lose me."

M'gann shook her head. "You say that now, but what happens later on in the future? What happens when the team grows and new, normal girls join? Maybe one day, you'll meet this beautiful, powerful blonde-haired superheroine, and you'll realize… you've been with a monster all this time." Her eyes filled with tears once more, and Conner let go of her hands suddenly, only to replace them on both sides of her face, his thumbs gently tracing the curves of her cheeks. Her heart skipped a beat at this new, intimate gesture. She found herself unable to look away from his intense gaze as he took a deep breath.

"M'gann…" Conner started. "_No one_ who joins this team is ever going to be normal. Kal'dur lives in the ocean. Zatanna is a witch. Wally can run faster than we can blink. And me…" He gave her a small smile. "I'm a half-human, half-Kryptonian _clone_, and I share DNA with Lex Luthor. We're all different from the rest of the world – that's why we do what we do."

"But Conner, I am _so_ different."

"Not to me." Conner said stubbornly.

"But I am to everyone else!" M'gann's eyes began to glow a bright, iridescent green and her body hovered several inches above the ground as her anger manifested. "You don't know what it was like on Mars – you don't know what they did to us, just for being what we are. What do you think the people of Earth would do if they saw me? What do you think they'd do if I showed up to save them looking like _this?_"

M'gann shot several feet into the air and broke down the barrier once more, letting her true form emerge as she screamed with a combination of anger, pain, and self-loathing. A sharp wind began to pick up as her telekinesis kicked into full throttle, blowing Conner backwards as he fought to remain upright.

"M'gann, stop!"

"This is what I really am, Conner – but it's not who I want to be. Not for the people of Earth, not for my friends, and not for you. I can't live my life on Earth if it means looking like this – no one wants to be saved by a White Martian." M'gann's voice echoed inside Conner's head through their telepathic link, and he cringed at the pure anger he felt emitting from her.

"I never said you had to stay in your true form forever now that we all know!" Conner said, bracing his feet into the sand. M'gann started and he could feel her confusion, so he continued. "You can look like Megan if that's what you want – I don't care who you choose to live your life looking like. You're right, not everyone is going to be as accepting as we are, but that doesn't mean you need to hate yourself because of it."

The wind began to ebb and M'gann slowly touched back down on the wet beach. Conner watched as she changed back into Megan, her true form dissolving away.

"What's more important to you – what the shallow, ignorant people of Earth think about you… or what _I_ think about you?" Conner asked.

M'gann was silent for a moment, but she was no longer crying. She appeared to be struggling between choosing to believe the thoughts in her head and what Conner was desperately trying to make her believe. He could see the war raging in her mind though their telepathic link. He began to walk towards her, keeping silent until he was inches away. He reached down and took her hands again.

"I came out of that tube in Cadmus knowing nothing except how to destroy. I was _made_ to destroy. But when I got free and I came here, and I met you… I realized just how much more there was to life than to just be a weapon. Everything good about being alive, I learned from you, M'gann. You are not the monster you think you are." He lifted one of her hands and placed it against her heart, then took her other and placed it on his heart. Her breath caught in her throat.

"_That's_ who you are. You're a Martian. I'm a clone. But we're exactly the same, because of _this_." He gently pulled her closer. "I know I'm not really that good at being open and… talking and stuff, but if there's one thing I am completely sure of, it's how I feel about you. I love you, and I don't care what you look like or where you came from or what form you choose to take after today. I just want you to be happy. I love _you_, and I know that because you're the one who taught me how to love at all."

M'gann was shocked into silence. He'd never… _never_ said things like this before. He'd always been the quieter one in their relationship – M'gann doing most of the talking and Conner doing the listening and the more subtle displays of affection. He was the kind of guy who would hold her hand when she least expected it, and had been frequently caught stealing glances with her when no one else was looking. He smirked when she buried her head in his shoulder during one of the many horror film marathons Wally loved so much, and although he never said very much at once, they could carry on a conversation that never ended awkwardly. They could sit in silence and just be, and it would be just as enjoyable. But now, these words that were pouring from his lips were emerging from an entirely new side of him. And she knew in her heart that every word was true. It was in his eyes, in the tone of his voice, and in the way he was holding her right now – as if he held his entire world between his fingers.

M'gann's face broke into a smile. "You love me?" She asked, wanting to hear it again.

Conner nodded slowly, his eyes cast down sheepishly. "Yeah. Sorry it took me so long to say it. But… I really do."

M'gann giggled softly at the adorable look on his face, wrapping her arms around his neck. "I love you too, Conner." She murmured. Her forehead pressed against his and his arms went to her waist. "I really do."

He kissed her then, and it took M'gann's breath away. He always did that to her… she didn't think she'd ever get used to it. But at least now, she knew she had all the time in the world to practice.


End file.
